eyes of the past.

i am constantly thinking of how my past has made me who i am today.

and i seriously mean constantly.

from what i wear, to i talk. it was influenced by someone, somewhere.

i personally had a fantastic childhood. two parents who loved me, a constant playmate (well my two sisters) and really a family who stood behind me.

now, it is like i have none of that...

i have so many problems nowadays. i have a disfunctional family. who by the way can barley talk to eachother. i have a dad who disowned me.

i quit highschool so i could be independent. always a kid i was the one who wanted to do things on his own. i wanted to best one at everything. now, in my dads eyes, i am the failure. i am the one who can not do anything right. i screwed my life up, well that is what he tells me.

he went to the extent of pretty much blantley telling my mom that he can not stand me. and sadly i am so okay with it. my dad is the person i hate being around. whenever he talks to me, i die a little. he kills me a little more everyday. with his one word answers and his cocky smartass comebacks. they tear me up. he is seriously stabbing a knife into my heart. and i am sick of it.

i believe that i am a good person. yes, i admit i have clouded my future by screwing up my past. i have tainted the life i could have had. but if i am okay with it, why can he not be?

my past was good until i was sixteen. point blank.