murderer.

i am composed of meat and flesh.
just like any other animal that graces this planet.

unlike others, i chose not to eat meat of any sort almost five years ago. but to them i am a joke. i am just some hippie wierdo.

yesterday, for the first time, meat graced my very lips, on accident but it happened. and since then i feel like i killed my best friend. i can not stop thinking about that poor animal. that animal that died for someone.

i relate killing an animal to the crusifiction of Jesus Christ. neither wanted to do it, but both do(did). both were/are killed for men and women alike. they only difference between meat and
Christ is that we can stop killing those animals anytime.

i hate myself right now. seriously. i am disguisted that i didn't check my food before i ate it. i am horrified by the thought that i for that one bite, was carnivouris. that i actually tasted the flesh of another being. i cried, real tears, over this.

i was just called a 'murderer' by my friends sister. i walked out of her house in front of her whole family holding back my tears. i am a murderer. i help to kill an innocent animal. i am a horrible person. i am disguisting. i am nasty. i killed. and i can't get over it.

it seems pointless and almost stupid to some people. for them to make jokes, and laugh at how bad i actually feel.

i hate myself right now. :\